My Story
I wasn’t handed an easy start. Without getting into every detail, I grew up in a household that was, honestly, chaotic — instability, addiction, and violence were just part of the air I breathed. There wasn’t a lot of steadiness to hold onto, and by the time I was a teenager, I was carrying more anger and hurt than I knew what to do with.
That pain didn’t stay quiet. I acted out. I made choices that landed me in real trouble, the kind with real consequences. And it was there, at what felt like rock bottom, that something shifted. I finally had to sit still long enough to actually look at myself — at the anger, the hurt, the ways I’d been coping (or not coping) with all of it. It wasn’t a comfortable process. But it was the first time in my life I actually started to change instead of just react.
Since then, I’ve been doing the slow work of rebuilding — piece by piece, choice by choice. Going back to school. Studying psychology, partly because I needed to understand my own mind before I could understand anyone else’s. And somewhere in that process, I found myself drawn to this path: dominatrix work, not as an escape, but as something that actually makes sense with everything I’ve lived and learned. Power, control, trust, safety — I understand these things from the inside, not just from a textbook.
I’m not interested in pretending my past didn’t happen, or dressing it up as something neater than it was. I’m sharing this because I know I’m not the only woman who’s come through chaos, lost her own voice somewhere in the middle of it, and had to fight to find it again. If any part of my story resonates with you — if you’ve been where I’ve been, or somewhere close to it — I want this space to be somewhere you feel less alone. And eventually, somewhere I can actually help you find your voice again too, the way I’m still finding mine.
This blog, and the work I’m building toward, is for both of us.
— Candy
this too shall pass
CandySays 